Oh, here we go… So, here you are in your late twenties. Somehow, you’ve survived the relentless drama of high school, maybe even went to (and survived) university, applied for more jobs than you’d like to admit, and been on more first dates than you’d like to remember. But instead of feeling like you’ve finally got it together, you’re surrounded by people who seem to be really getting it together. You know the ones: they’re getting married, expecting babies, posting on Linkedin how they are “Delighted to announce their latest promotion”, and posting hotdog leg pictures on beaches in the middle of November. You know exactly what I’m talking about. And here you are, scrolling through social media wondering if your last semi-creative post was a little “too out there”.
Now, I struggle WILDLY with comparing myself to others my age, and I have a specific interest in stalking my boyfriends exes. So every time I catch myself falling down that rabbit hole, these are just some of the things I like to remind myself.
1. We All Have Different Goals
By your late twenties, everyone is chasing their own flavor of success, even if it doesn’t always look that way. Some people are laser-focused on their careers, others are traveling, indulging themselves in their art, or building a family of their own. The reality is, every single person is in a different mindset, whipping up the cake that is their life with the ingredients they have. You can’t expect everyone to be making the same dish or even using the same recipe.
2. Everyone’s Posting Their Highlights
This one’s an oldie but a goodie: social media LIES. We know this, and yet we forget it on the daily. People post their dream job acceptance, not the months of unemployment that came before. They show the new apartment with great lighting, not the six months of apartment chasing it took to find one that isn’t infected with black mold. And yeah, they’ll post a Sunday hike photo with perfect lighting, but they won’t show you their sweaty faced selfie or the mud-splattered photo after they fell on the trail.
So next time you find yourself scrolling and spiraling, remember: you’re seeing the greatest hits, the biggest achievements, the crème de la crème, definitely not the bloopers. Even though, I think social media would be much more enjoyable with bloopers.
3. You’re Moving at the Speed You’re Supposed To
There’s a myth floating around that our twenties are supposed to be a non-stop thrill ride, like some kind of extended montage scene of success, parties, and productivity. But who says all the good stuff has to happen before thirty??
Some people find their stride early on, and that’s great. But others don’t hit their stride until later. Just because someone else is already on chapter 12 doesn’t mean you’re behind if you’re on chapter 6. You’re writing your story at your pace, and chances are, there’s still a plot twist or two that you can’t even see coming.
4. Everyone’s Definition of Success is Different
As I mentioned earlier, forr some people, success means climbing the career ladder and reaching that corner office by thirty. For others, it’s building a family, traveling the world, or simply creating a life that lets them have work-life balance. Maybe you’re working in a field that doesn’t have traditional “rungs” to climb or benchmarks to hit. That’s okay.
One of the biggest lessons in your late twenties is realizing that you’re allowed to define success in a way that’s meaningful to you, not what looks cool on LinkedIn. It’s all right if your timeline or definition doesn’t match the so-called “norm”—you might not be on the same page as your peers, but that doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong page.
5. Your Friends Are Your Teammates, Not Your Competitors
In this stage of life, everyone is out there hustling for their own goals, and it’s easy to slip into a mindset of comparison or envy. But take a moment and remember that everyone in your circle is dealing with their own version of “figuring it out.” Instead of comparing, see it as a chance to cheer each other on. The more you lift each other up, the less you’ll feel like you’re falling short. This summer for instance I caught up with one of my best friends in Budapest. At the time we were both unemployed, and honestly, instead of anxiously trying to come up with some kind of strategy to get back into work, you know what we did? We laughed it off. We told each other about our new hobbies we were exploring, and the personal time we had to take a fucking breath and reevaluate our life priorities.
Your friends’ wins don’t detract from your journey, and their challenges don’t mean they’re “behind” you. Think of it as one big group run, and nothing motivates you more than cheering on the people you love.
6. The Only Thing Worth Comparing is Your Own Progress
If you absolutely must compare, look at your own past. Ask yourself if you’re a better version of you than you were last year or even last month. Are you learning? Growing? Figuring out what you want, even if it’s one small step at a time? That’s progress, and it’s a huge deal.
You might not have a perfect ten-year plan, but honestly, the best things in life rarely fit on a timeline. Real success is about growth, self-acceptance, and learning how to handle life’s curveballs with a bit of grace—and a big dollop of humor.
So next time you catch yourself spiraling into a fit of comparison or being hypercritical, take a breath and remind yourself that there’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to life. You’re exactly where you need to be right now, flaws and all. So keep going. Keep growing.
Love, V
